And exhale ......

Oh Dallas, I had a king size bed. I had a quiet room. Yes, we worked 18 hours every day but 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and I felt like I had been to a spa for a week.  I went down to breakfast early and read the newspaper.  I even got to read an actual book on the plane on the way home. OK yes, there was an old Chinese guy singing Chinese Peeking Opera for 3 hours but ha! I mean, he wasn't screaming, teething or wriggling constantly.


But man, was I glad to get my hands on those wonderful, funny and adorable kids again :-)

go the f*ck to sleep

If you haven't listened to the little audio book on itunes please do - it's really funny.

My kids are 20 months old and their sleep has gone all over the place. 11pm, 3am, 5am,  - MAMMA!!!
Oh I'm so tired. Add to all this that the consulting gigs are rolling along at top speed and yours truly doesn't look so hot right now! Big BIG bags under my eyes, my body aches likes a mofo and I keep falling asleep at desks around the city no matter how many espresso's I drink.

I enjoy the quiet cuddles, when the rest of the world is fast asleep. Mimi snuggles up close and often slips into an adorable toddler slumber. Pip, no not so much. He wants the TV on. This morning we watched a documentary about a couple living on the River of No Return - hiking, filming and ... well, that was about it. Yesterday it was an advanced mathematics program.

Why are they not sleeping through the night???? Tomorrow I go to Dallas on work for two nights. It's just not right how I feel about two night's away :-}

Anyone got any words of wisdom? 

Musical and literary genius

I have totally turned into one of those mums. I think, no I know, that Pip is a musical genius. Yep. He is more talented than Mozart and Mobi combined. He sings in tune to classical music, claps in rhythm and dances like a crazy person.
Mimi, she can read and count and is clearly the missing Bronte sister. Didn't know there was a missing Bronte sister, well, er you may have a point.

That having been said I will not be putting them into prep pre-school school. I fuukin' kid you not. Nor do I want them in any fast tracking or special programs.  Everyone I know that was a star at school burnt out before they turned 21. I dream they become university teachers in a nice town somewhere that we can retire to! Grandkids. May I remind the reader the guys are not yet 2.

Poor kids. Crazy momma.

School daze.

We went to our first preschool visit. The chick that showed us around started the school for her daughter. She wanted a space that had structured free play. Basically she wanted her kids to learn to love learning. All the parents attend with their kids, where you contribute as a teacher and then eat lunch together.

It's a little, one room playhouse that is immaculately clean and very welcoming.

There are only ten kids per class (and ten parents). Two mornings a week we all learn together. Clearly it poses some logistical issues. My DH works a schedule and would have to ask permission to change it. I'm consulting right now but by the time they are two, who knows. Maybe I could swing it? 1030am to 12.30am.

I do love it. It has a wonderful little garden. Outings. It's in a public park with a cool kids area. It's the only one in the 5 boroughs and it's affordable.

We're going to look around the Y and there's a great school in the synagogue but they are much farther away and much more expensive. I just don't know understand how two mornings a week costs 12K?? What are these preschools teaching?!

I cannot believe I am looking into schooling options for my babies!!! Wow.

Moving On

So the last post drew out some less than generous commentators. Mostly the comments that were meant to be oppositional missed the whole point but isn't that always the way.

I'm glad for the exchanges tho. It made me think about what I want from this experience. I have long said that this blog should be a place for support, reflection and interaction for women that are or have struggled with creating a family. The blogs I read and comment on (when I have time) are all women that have been or are going through so much. These women are courageous and dedicated enough to share that experience and I for one have got so much from reading their words.

Some blogs go private when the anonymous cat crew strikes. I don't think I shall tho. I responded to the last set of anonymous scribes since it was relevant to the post, but that isn't my usual way. I'll just ignore them and invite you do to the same.

I am proud of this blog. I'm proud of the time, energy, thought and application it takes to keep it going. More importantly it means the world to me to be part of the IF blog environment. I've felt support from you guys that has rendered me speechless. Nothing any 'anon-mouse' writes can or will stop me from being part of this.

For you...

The unwelcome guest.

"Maybe your tastes should change. Get rid of the nanny. Get rid of the expensive vacations. You no longer have a job. What you think are necessary are total luxuries."

I've never responded to an anonymous comment before. Insults from someone that doesn't have the backbone to stand by their words are not worth responding to.  

However, you bring up an interesting point which I thought I'd address. 

'Get rid of the nanny'. 

 I'm not a semiotician but the expression 'Get rid of the nanny' is such an odious expression. 

Whatever the reason it would seem that anonymous believes employee's are disposable whenever they become an inconvenience.  Here's the reason I haven't 'got rid of the nanny'. 

I entered into a social, ethical and financial responsibility with AA.  The contract is as evident as the day I hired her.  She is not a luxury, she's an employee with her own responsibilities, which as an employer we directly impact. If it is in our power to earn money so she can be retained than that is what we must do. Which I have. I started a very lucrative consultancy the day I got laid off. 

It's also worth pointing out that she's an integral part of our household and my kids life. Their lives are enriched by AA , as is mine. Not to over state this but my kids love AA because she is a kind, nurturing, loving caretaker. 

As for the expensive vacations! Read the blog. We haven't been on a vacation since the kids were born and before that we spent a weekend at an Inn about half an hour from home. As it turned out it ended up being free except for the train tickets. Martha's Vineyard - the boat is $45 return. A week in a hotel would be less than two days of consulting.  However it looks like an ex client is going to offer us their vacation house for free. You ever heard of karma. You should check it out. 

 Keep away from my blog.  And grow a pair, for goodness sake. 

Martha's Vineyard

So, we live in NYC. The last vacation we had was when I was pregnant and it was two night in a hotel about an hour or so away.

Today we have found out that very close to where we live is a boat that takes you to... Martha's Vineyard. We could walk the ferry and take the frikkin boat to an actual holiday, with beaches and sea and ice cream and ... well... all that crap.

Here's a question oh bloggie sisters. Anyone been to MV and if so did you happen to notice somewhere nice to stay. Can toddlers stay at B&B's? Is there a hotel that would be more appropriate. Do you happen to have a lovely house on the water that you are just aching to let a financially strapped family use for a week and if so could you throw in the maid and jet ski's also please.

Would love to hear from anyone with experience of the island and it suitability for kids.

No binky no luvvy no way

Pip has wholesale rejected his beloved teddy and binky. One day he just stopped using them. He won't have them near him now.

I am a little freaked out by this.

He was wedded to his little teddy, He was binky king.

Of course, I am immediately googling the problems it could be!!

Anyone else had this?

split lip

Last week I bonked Pip's head as I was putting him down in his crib - well, he bonked his head but you know what I mean. His lip started to bleed a little then stopped.
Today, not to be outdone, Mimi took a tumble and split her lip in three place. Blood everywhere. I gave her ice to eat which is easier than trying to hold a 2 yr old and apply ice. She's fine, it looks worse ... etc.

I am a total mess.

You wouldn't believe the things that went through my mind.  You are such a crappy mother. You are in no way fit to look after these kids. You should just leave and do everyone a favour.

Oh yes, full on.

This is all flamed by my unemployment funk. It really is tough to be interviewed and rejected. Yuck. Not used to it and don't want to get used to it thank you very much. Doesn't help that someone close to me said " well, now with the kids, you're almost unemployable".

Mmmnn.


We watched the Mu.ppets movie this weekend with the kids. They loved it. We all sat huddled around giggling and dancing and messing about. If I am unemployable would that be such a bad thing?