That's how I feel right now. I went to class with the kids and they were fine but wouldn't sit down in the chairs like the other kids. I just didn't know what to do. I realised that DH had been to all this classes with them and there was tons of info he just didn't tell me (or doesn't know).
I feel like it all falls down to me and that is totally overwhelming right now.
I think this is all centered around the fact that work got my home cell number and have invaded my week off. They bring such anxiety with them that I am sent off the deep end. Anxiety attack.
Is this what being a mother and wife is? Bone wrenching anxiety? Or am I somehow in peri-menopause? What ever it is, life is not a whole heap of fun right now.
I feel like it all falls down to me and that is totally overwhelming right now.
I think this is all centered around the fact that work got my home cell number and have invaded my week off. They bring such anxiety with them that I am sent off the deep end. Anxiety attack.
Is this what being a mother and wife is? Bone wrenching anxiety? Or am I somehow in peri-menopause? What ever it is, life is not a whole heap of fun right now.
My daughter doesn't sit down in classes, either. You know what? I don't make her. She participates when she wants to, and absorbs quite a bit regardless. I discovered that although she appeared not to pay attention in her toddler Spanish class, she still learned to count in Spanish, animals, colors, etc.
ReplyDeleteI feel like it all falls down to me, too. I think we have to let others DO, and have faith that whatever happens will be okay. I'm better at giving that advice than taking it, though!
TURN YOUR CELL PHONE OFF. Buy a $30 burner at Walmart and give the number only to your husband. Don't answer your home phone. They will somehow manage without you, and you deserve your days off. And it will lessen the anxiety.
And forgive the heaps of assvice in this comment, especially since I think you have just started this job, but maybe it's not worth it. You seem pretty stressed out since you have taken it. It sounds like maybe you have some other options. Would it make sense to pursue them?
PS I meant, maybe the job isn't worth the stress and anxiety it seems to be creating for you. Just in case that wasn't clear!
ReplyDeleteVery good read Eb. I have been trying to read up on anxiety and the symptoms of an anxiety attack because I think I have had one before I started my new job. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
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