THANK YOU for helping me. Thank you for making me less alone.
So far two doctors are helping. First doc raised my anti-depression Rx which has helped. The other person is a specialist and I'll be seeing her in April. She may change my Rx or add something.
Things are less intense now. I won't say stable.
The anxiety and depression is because I just want to stay home and raise my kids. I can't believe that this high flying exec has lost her pin stripped mojo but its true. Work feels meaningless and like it's robbing me of my life with kids.
I can medicate through this but oh to win the lottery or just enough so that I could take on the role of mum full time.
I guess if my work had meaning this would seem less of a struggle. I work with mostly morally bankrupt people. It's pretty damn disgusting. One or two shining lights make bearable. Just.
And of course my poor long suffering husband. Damn me, that man has listened to me piss and moan for years!
So. My medication tape tells me I need to think about gratitude. so here is my gratitude list.
My home with its kids, cats, husband is loving and lovely.
I get to sing once a week.
we are safe and healthy
What's are you grateful for?
So far two doctors are helping. First doc raised my anti-depression Rx which has helped. The other person is a specialist and I'll be seeing her in April. She may change my Rx or add something.
Things are less intense now. I won't say stable.
The anxiety and depression is because I just want to stay home and raise my kids. I can't believe that this high flying exec has lost her pin stripped mojo but its true. Work feels meaningless and like it's robbing me of my life with kids.
I can medicate through this but oh to win the lottery or just enough so that I could take on the role of mum full time.
I guess if my work had meaning this would seem less of a struggle. I work with mostly morally bankrupt people. It's pretty damn disgusting. One or two shining lights make bearable. Just.
And of course my poor long suffering husband. Damn me, that man has listened to me piss and moan for years!
So. My medication tape tells me I need to think about gratitude. so here is my gratitude list.
My home with its kids, cats, husband is loving and lovely.
I get to sing once a week.
we are safe and healthy
What's are you grateful for?
Glad it's a little better! So I guess you are in a regular job and not free hence after all? Maybe with freelance you would have more freedom to set your own schedule and spend more time with the twins. Is money stopping you from a career change? It's awful working with morally bankrupt people. I feel your pain. I'm grateful for my lovely kids, my wife, our beautiful big apartment, friends and family, coffee and tea, days at the park - hopefully coming soon, the lake.
ReplyDelete